okay.okay.okay. WAIT.

the pictures above make it seem like I’ve had lots of spare time to do and take pictures of lots of self-indulgent, whimsical activities and add silly filters to them so they that they can be posted for all the world to see on *choose social media platform of your choice* right?
This goes to show JUST how misleading the internet can paint a persons life huh?
The truth, in fact, is that taking part in silly self indulged moments has acted as a massive escape tactic for me this month and let me tell you a little why.

Juan and I this week have had one of the hardest weeks I think ever?
At the beginning of the week - Monday - we went out for a “date”. (I put it in apprentethises because it always feels like we’re always on a date even when we don’t leave the house!) Anyway, I had the day off school (thanks Martin Luther) and we decided to go out. One thing I think is important to know is that where we live there is literally no where to go (unless you want to hug some sheep or milk some cows?) and if you want any good food that isn't the McDonald's opposite the college you need to go at least a little further than our beloved home that is Ephraim, Utah. ANYWAY, So we travelled about an hour out of the mountains to grab some pizza and catch a spontaneous movie. It was great.
Then, on the way home about twenty minutes away from home at 1AM we hit a stag. Juan was driving and freaked out. It really efffected him.The stag died instantly and Juan was hurt all along his left side, but I was fine. Although Juan was hurt we were both so lucky to be walking and I was so happy to be alive. It was all thanks to the car mind, flippin’ monster saver it was!!
We got home at 6am the next morning after the trooper came and the person who needed to collect the car and the ambulance etc. etc. But here’s were things get a bit crap. The day after this Juan is bed-ridden and then we get some awful, I mean seriously awful, financial/job news and then the day after that we find out that our car (our brand new car that we got a week before Christmas and waited two months for) had been written off simply because one of the airbag’s had deployed in the crash and that we wouldn't get enough money to replace it with a car even half as good:/. This put Juan into a massive funk and a subsequently brought me into one too. It’s not all bad, I mean money really is just that; money. But sometimes, even though you try your absolute hardest not to be dependent on it. Sometimes, it is. And that really does suck.
We've really been trying to look at the positives on everything we just can’t believe the crazy start to the year we’ve had. There is one other thing that I can not yet mention but could be really bad news too, and it’s also probably the most important. Sorry for the cryptic-ness of that. It's health related which kind of puts the money crap into perspective.
Well anyway - in the mean time I have been focusing on photo taking, music making and school work and that has been a wonderful escape. (as above photos do imply) I think scary-adult life makes me cling on to my creativity a bit more, so I’m pleased for that at least. Another thing I found out about myself this week is that dire stress makes me do housework. Like, A LOT of house work - it makes me do the three weeks of laundry I’ve been desperately avoiding and clean a bathroom that has been long overdue a clean and sort out that scarily large pile of crap that has been gathering and growing for months and that I have also been neglecting for months. So as I said, not all bad.

Anyway, desperately clutching on to the positives over here. How you holding up?!¿!

Peace ✌️

I have 22 draft posts. I keep starting, then abandoning. Starting, then abandoning. I have one about Christmas that I really want to get right but haven't brought myself to finish it yet. All this, but I just had to write and post something because of my current level of excitement. At this moment it is about quarter to ten in the morning and I'm sat on the top floor of the student wreck building. My first class of everyday is now at 8.30 and, yes, sometimes it's a burden but mainly it's awesome and the best part is that between 9.20 and 10.30 I have a free hour or so. No point in going home time-wise so I stay on campus. Something I love and never noticed before is the zen that exists on campus at these times in the morning and I'm finding them most relaxing. I have time to reflect, time to eat something, study if I need too but the best thing is having time to write and read. As of next week when my vocal lessons start again I will probably spend most of this time in the practice room but for now this last week and a half of 'peace hours' has been most wonderful.

This weekend that just past was wonderfully interesting. Christmas was stressful, but because of this; Returning back to Ephraim with Juan-Carlos and coming back to school has been something of a great soul healer. My classes are almost the same except that the morning times are different and I no-longer have to study human development (WHOOOOOP WHOOOP!) and instead chose to take my creative general and for this chose acting-1. I know what you're thinking... acting? really? you? talia, really!??!?! Yes, I know AND I agree but the things is that I love opera. And last semester I was in one, the singing didn't prove much of a problem and I didn't have to do a huuuuge amount of acting as I was part of the ensemble, but I was on stage and I worked out in that moment that I hadn't the foggiest idea or direction of how to be up on stage??!?! I also really struggle when it comes to building confidence in performing my aria's and every song you sing whether I like it or not has some kind of acting quality behind it. So I figured that out of all the generals to choose from in this category that acting-1 would be the most beneficial to me. ANYWAY so far (it's only been two classes) I'm enjoying it. Exercises are fun and there's only 7 students in the class. My point with this is that; I shocked myself this weekend as I had quite a bit of homework and was late on getting the text for the acting class - then on Friday afternoon, the teacher sprung upon us that we needed to read this particular book by Monday's class.

And this is how the weekend unfolded;
Friday night, I finished all my theory work, then Spanish work then started to read. Juan and I also managed to watch a couple of movies, take a visit to the temple Saturday evening and Sunday after church I invited my music theory teacher and her family over for dinner - (YES, I ACTUALLY COOKED A SUNDAY ROAST FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND IT WAS BETTER THAN JUST EDIBLE) (also, I love college because you can actually have friendships with your professors..!?!?!?) Anyway, I also managed to sleep all day Saturday till 5pm and on top of this still managed to read the entire acting book by Monday morning. Why am I sharing this? Because it has shown me that I am actually way, way more capable of life than I thought I was. And along with these extra 1hr10min slots of freedom I have in the mornings it has shown me that maybe I do have time to do the things I want to do as well as the things I feel more obliged to do.. instead of just fitting in, that which I feel I have to do. I've also decided to take the pressure off of myself in some areas. If I feel like not doing a chore (like a personal one) I just don't do it. done. end of story. #sometimesitisthateasy I'm learning all these little things but mentally I feel like I can do 2018 just a little bit better than I thought I was going to be able to. Still, it's only January 9th s so we'll watch this space and see what happens... haha.

Sending out vibes of hope and positivity to you.

​Peace my dears,

✌️