I wouldn't call myself an optimist, nor would I call myself a pessimist. In fact I wouldn't even call myself a realist. Maybe because once you adhere yourself to one of these titles there comes a certain pressure to maintain it.
BUT, I do like to find the positives. In fact my day-to-day life sort of revolves around it sometimes. I, like everyone else, have gone through hardships in life. I specifically remember a span of time about 8 years or so ago that lasted for a long time where I was permanently low. I remember I had a job that was challenging, which admittedly did help take my mind off of things, but some days that wasn't enough. I remember specifically a thought and feeling I had one lunch time whilst washing some dishes at work, the weather was so lovely outside the kitchen window and the work place had a lovely garden. I was looking out the window seeing how luscious all the greens were and how the sun was illuminating everything whilst simulataneously moving my hands through the warm bubbly water of the washing up, none of my colleagues were in the kitchen at this time and I was so peaceful. I remember thinking how good that warm water felt on my skin in that moment, how I was being physically and visually stimulated and how nice that felt. Then a thought came to me that 'this might be the only good feeling I feel today' and then shortly after that 'and that's okay, that's a positive'.
After this, I started to look for these moments in the every day. And it sounds dramatic but these things carried me through a period of life that was hard to live through until it wasn't so hard to live through it anymore. But after that period was over, I still never stopped trying to look for the positives.
I have shared this with various people over the years and some people focus on the 'crap, you must have been pretty miserable for that to have been the best part of your day', but others find it inspiring so as to find ways to look for the parts of the day that make you feel good, because they are there.
As life has gone on and morphed, I have realized that big or small there's positives and things that make you feel better (even temporarily) to be found everywhere. Admittedly, these positives are often a lot bigger than simply running my hands through warm water, and that's a wonderful thing to now be able to admit.
Why am I writing about all this now? Because. Coronavirus. I know right, I'm writing about it along with the rest of the world and it's brother that won't shut up about it. But, it sucks. It is keeping people in quarantine, killing people in some extreme circumstances, pooing all over our economy and making the world go crazy. But you know what, for me personally it has been a bit of a blessing. That sounds awful doesn't it and I might eat my words. But as gutted as I initially was to find out that Uni had been cancelled and that the church I attend has ordered it's members to carry out meetings in their homes. I suddenly find that I have a ton of time off at home to do things I've been wanting 'to find the time for' for ages and now I can do them. My husband also works from home and so we get to have our days together. And church at home on Sunday was awesome. I know I'm not the only one that has experienced positive effects from this. I have family members both back home and here that are enjoying the excuse to put a bit of a stop on life.
Sometimes good things come from not so good things.
As time goes on I have found that there's always something. There's always something going on in life that is bothering us. Something that 'could be better' that 'could be resolved', that 'could be different'. This thing quite often changes into another thing, it might even go away completely and sometimes it's the same thing that simply never goes away, but there's always something. An example. My life five years ago; I wasn't really working towards anything that I wanted to be working towards and I had just got out of a relationship that broke me a little bit. These were my 'somethings' that would get me down if I payed attention to them and never felt like they would go away . BUT at this time I was surrounded by my family and amazing, AMAZING, friends that I was constantly laughing with and going on adventures with, these were the positives, the things I liked to focus on. Now, five years later, my somethings from back then aren't somethings anymore; I'm working towards a career that I'm incredibly passionate about and I've been married for four years, not heart broken anymore. But, I have acquired different 'somethings'; I'm constantly thousands of miles away and have a fat off sea between me and my family and years of laughs away from my friends. But I have just learnt that we can never have it all and that there will always be something that bothers us. Fortunately, human beings tend to be quite adaptable and we learn to continue and make do, but I'd like to to raise the bar on 'making do' to even finding positives within the negative. Although I miss my people all of the time and that never goes away, I have learnt to become stronger and more independent because of it and I have had the opportunity to work at a career I have been itching to pursue for years previous.
Don't get me wrong focusing on the positives is a lot easier said than done at times.
Things change for good, things change for bad, sometimes they just change to be different. But there is always a positive that can be found and we should not only find it but focus on it, no matter how little it may be, because it's there as a gift, it's there to bring us joy and who knows it might just save us and carry us through something one day.
Brit. U.S.resident. Lover of Opera. Believer of dreams.