Something no one ever really talks about are the motions of change. They quite often talk about the change to come and change that has been but you rarely get insights during the process of change itself.
I think this is because during the motions of change things don't usually go smoothly and the logistics of making change can contain a ton of obstacles. These obstacles usually require elements of mental, physical and positive strength in order to be overcome. And sometimes no matter how hard you try they simply just can't be overcome at all, you have to change your plans or at least your approach in order to get on the track to where you want to go. When something doesn't go according to our own plans or ideas this can make us feel like we've failed which is ABSOLUTELY the wrong attitude, but alas, often we succumb to these feelings of failure and self doubt anyway.
I have started and restarted this blog post over and over again within the last month and a half. I have had a burning desire to talk, inform and update about our current situation but something always stops me from finishing it or from pressing the 'post' button. I think it might have something to do with the fear of reporting events before events occur and the knowledge that during change, obstacles occur and sometimes change the course of your plans. But last night I was thinking about this concept the above title popped into my head and I knew it was time.
So here goes..
Basically we are within the motions of some big life changes. Over the last two months the opportunity to transfer my degree from commercial music to a more appropriate degree of vocal performance (with emphasis in classical music) has arisen. I have auditioned and we are set to move to Orem, UT. We are in the midst of moving, have found a place but are unsure as to whether we will be able to move there or not as there has been some complications. Up until two days ago in fact there were also some more complications but with the university and fafsa and my legitimacy as permanent residency here in the States. Additionally, as of recent Juan has started up a freight business.
So we're moving towns, uni's and have become babies in the business world.
It is all very exciting, there is no doubt about this. But logistically there is so much to do, and there are lots of obstacles to overcome and right now we are in the thick of it all with college starting in under 12 hours and as we have not moved into a new place yet I will be traveling from my in-laws place, 30 minutes away (potentially double that in morning traffic along the highway) as we have been staying with them for the summer. It is all very stressful and and a little frightening.
A lot of new things at once.
This feels like a post of moaning. It's actually a post of nervousness. Excitement and fear mixed together to create mass nervousness. Nervousness for all to go well and all to go smoothly, for things to work out, for them to work out soon and for us to end up in a place where we can be content. Something that has proved somewhat of a struggle in recent years.
Something to mention alongside this is that this year I have found access to my voice. I mean this literally. My singing voice. Things are starting to get exciting in the vocal department which is great but this fact adds a lot of internal and external pressures. Pressures to succeed and progress and to gain momentum. Internally I feel confident and faithful about it all but it's still very nerve wracking. Below is a picture of a really significant moment for me. I had a singing lesson with my uncle in preparation for my audition and he told me that he believed I could do it as a career. I knew he meant this and this meant a lot. As you look around his room there's all these photographs and little mementos of opera's he, his students and friends have been involved in from all over the place. Years of hard work and achievements. It was incredibly inspiring. I don't want to forget that day, it felt like a turning point.
Well tomorrow is the first day of college. So sleep for me and before that a little look at how I plan to navigate my way around the new buildings in the morning.
Peace and good luck to you all in all your changes and obstacles.
Brit. U.S.resident. Lover of Opera. Believer of dreams.